Your tits are I can't wait for
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
