im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
the liver wants what the liver wants
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
