i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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