would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
