So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Randomize
