I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
