I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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