i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
