I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
