man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
