Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Are my feet made of real feet?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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