Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
