I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She bit a glass in half.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
