sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
