just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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