I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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