"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
