he told me I talked like a deaf person
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
