guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
