I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
