I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
