omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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