East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We're not piercing ourselves today.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
