who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
