Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
