Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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