with your own penis?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
