I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
