your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
