My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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