the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
How's work?
Spinning.
She's the barista slut.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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