Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
