Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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