I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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