if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
