i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Everything about him screamed your future.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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