Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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