I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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