We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
