I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We had to coat check the pizza.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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