Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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