I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize