Sry I called you an 8
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
be right there i have to get my cape
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
