Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
