Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
