After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
