put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
