you guys were way drunker than both of me
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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