Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
