i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
