You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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