Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Buhtt sex?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
