allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
